This Website Is About Hypospadias....
Contents Of This Website
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We welcome accounts of men's lives and how hypospadias has affected them. This can be extremely supportive for other men with hypospadias...
Email: submissionsAThypospadias-emotions.com (replace AT with @)
Recent emails:I wanted to reach out to any young men or boys to reassure them that hypospadias is something you can definitely live with. My opening is about 1 or 2 inches below the head; I have a smaller penis only 5 inches and curved. I am still a little self conscious when urinating in a public restroom because sometimes I spray and don't urinate in a straight line. I still managed to father 5 children 2 of them boys. The oldest boy has hypospadias too, but has never said a word nor have we and he fathered 4 kids. From the top my penis looks like any other penis. Oh by the way: I am 60 years old!
I have hypospadias & chordee, and have only been aware of that fact since I was 12. I had many strange conceptions of sexuality during this time, my biggest issues were linked to this condition. I thought for a while I was not going to be able to have sex, but it turns out that most of the time women are very uninterested in the physical nature of a penis, and more interested in how you perceive it. I had sex several times at 17, and didn't say anything about it - by the fourth time, I asked my partner about it, and she said she hadn't even noticed. I took this as an opportunity to simply ignore the condition. This is probably the best approach - luckily for me, I have a decently sized penis (around 7 inches) while erect, though it is crooked and not very attractive. Overcoming body anxiety is like overcoming any other anxiety - just think about it as another wave of troubles in life that your certain, sure self, can ride along and not be overturned. Other issues have become a much bigger problem in my life (social issues, etc). I sometimes wonder the degree to which physical abnormalities are tied to personality characteristics. It's possible that a person can be a different in one way, with less fitness, or whatever, than other people. However, all humans can contribute in one way or another, and become successful in some field.
70 year old in the UK
Since at least 2006 I have been living with Advanced Metastatic Prostate Cancer (it escaped into my bloodstream and lodged in my bones so radical treatment like surgery was not appropriate!) This has added further problems to the groin area. I receive Testosterone inhibiting hormone therapy (Prostap3 - equals chemical castration) which induces impotence, lack of sex drive (no libido) and no erection amongst other side effects. With intermittent therapy (to increase the time span for the effectiveness of the drug) sex drive does return in part but with hard-to-get ‘dry’ orgasms (and ‘dry’ dreams!). Now, with old age, comes a shrinking penis. The absence of Testosterone and the consequent lack of sexual activity exacerbates that problem thus increasing the difficulty in passing urine without making a mess.
I can’t remember much of my infancy. Perhaps I’ve blanked it out through embarrassment, or buried it deep into my soul which could have precipitated the depressive characteristic throughout my life. My very vague recollection is that going to the toilet was always awkward - invariably I wet my trousers. So I always left it as long as possible which meant that I still wet my trousers. I think my penis had several holes just below the main exit and thus it sprayed everywhere. In my infants school a teacher even gave me some waterproof material to take home to mum to stitch into my trousers. That didn’t go down well at home. At this young age I seem to have picked up the vague impression that it was all the hospital’s fault.
As a young lad I was regularly taken to a London hospital (perhaps Queen Elizabeth’s Hospital for Sick Children) but the consultant never arrived for the appointment so I was always seen by a side-kick - a wasted journey from the London suburbs. Round about the age of 7 another consultant took over my case. At the first consultancy I was surrounded by a ‘gang’ of 10 or so young white-coated students all gawping at me while I was examined – most embarrassing.
Between the ages 8 and 10, I had 3 operations at the Banstead branch of QEHSC. None was successful and they were painful episodes. At least the last operation reduced the number of spare holes down to one. The surgeon had to be called at night to Banstead as the catheter had got stuck and wouldn’t come out. He told me about this one hole and suggested I put a finger over it when I peed. Eventually this became a lifetime habit but it stills drips and not always in the bowl. Now, with a minimalist penis, getting the finger in the right place is more exacting. Using a tissue to dry the penis afterwards is a must – when possible.
During my teens I had concerns about the size of my penis – it seemed smaller than others in the showers. I also wondered whether intercourse would be successful, but marriage and 2 children removed that concern.
I was about 18 or so before I first heard I had Hypospadias (I had consoled myself that something had gone wrong with the circumcision at birth). In those days medical check-ups were required for life insurance and one question on the application form is ‘Have you had any operations?’ I usually answered ‘Yes’ without being specific. One insurance doctor asked me about it and then asked if he could take a look. He perused a medical book and pronounced ‘Hypospadias’ but without any further explanation. About 10 years later (around 1972) I was invited to help with some research into the condition and spent an hour or so with a student at an East London hospital. He even had my old hospital file but again, I didn’t cross my mind to find out any more – I just thought it was a medical name given to a circumcision problem.
I’m now 70 and reading the Daily Mail article in November 2011 was the first time I discovered in detail what Hypospadias was all about – thank you. As I read the Life Stories my heart goes out to those for whom the condition is much more complicated than mine and has made life more difficult.
Other useful websites: how to enjoy the best sex after fifty.